I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
