she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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