For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
