So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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