I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
