Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
