I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
