i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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