I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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