The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
