Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
