i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
