Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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