loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The beer is more important than you right now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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