How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
