Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
