D3 body, D1 cock
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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