do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
