What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Two words: blizzard sex
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
