Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
