hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
