Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
