ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
