the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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