I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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