I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
