i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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