Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
