lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm too high and old for this...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
