at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
