i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
