she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
