i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
