I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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