The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
