I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
