yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
