i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
