It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
