I just made out with a guy for $7.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
