And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
