I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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