so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
