why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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