just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
