Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
