Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
