Barsexuality is the new black.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
