You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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