one word: firstdatebathroomanal
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
