you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
