Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
