Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
